Ahh…all the pretty Christmas lights. Some are as beautiful as a bride on her wedding day. Others…straight up ratchet. You know who you are.  I’ll never have to buy a ticket to the side show again for the rest of my life if you’ll just keep ’em lit year round. Good grief, this is better than seeing Cirque du Soleil live in Vegas. Could you run in the house and make me a funnel cake while I just sit here and watch? It’s mesmerizing. I don’t wanna miss a thing. Hey kids, forget Disney. We’re coming to the Jones’ house every night for a week. It’s way better than the Parade of Lights.

You know what really tips the scale for me this year? Giant Snoopy in a snow globe? No. The drive-thru nativity? Nope. The light-up Santa Clause leaning over baby Jesus in the manger. WHAT, EVEN?!?!?  I am absolutely awestruck by this holy wonder! I recently saw one of these monstrosities in someone’s yard and had to just stop and gawk. They probably thought I was casing their house, but I could not peel my eyes away. My brain is fairly demented so here’s how the conversation went with myself in my head:

What is he saying? What is Santa saying to baby Jesus right now? Is he welcoming Him into the world? You know Jesus was here first, right, Santa? I mean, you’re not even real. Are you asking Him what He wants for Christmas?

“Dear 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant Jesus…”  Are you asking Him if He’s been naughty or nice? You know He’s not naughty, right? He’s Jesus.

And what is Jesus saying back? If I was baby Jesus I would say something like this:

“Look, Ricky Bobby. I may only be five minutes old, lying here in my golden fleece diaper, but you know I’ve been around awhile, right? God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? You’ve heard of me. Ok, great. So first, I’m gonna need you to back up out of my personal space. And secondly, I’m gonna need you to quit stealing my thunder. It’s my birthday, not yours. Please and thank you. Goodbye. Also, please leave me something besides gold, frankincense and myrrh in my stocking. That’s getting old.”

This whole conversation is disturbing. I know. I’m so sorry. So scary… Anyway, all that nonsense led me to start thinking about some of the ridiculousness that I, myself, bring to Jesus. Now, He loves me. He’s Jesus – patient, kind, loving Jesus. But I wonder if He gets tired of my cynical, self-centered requests? I wonder if He gets tired of my talking to Him like He’s a genie in a bottle? Of course, He never gets tired of us. But we do it sometimes, don’t we?

“Lord, I know you’re busy with real problems and lots of other broken things to fix, but if you could please miraculously change the attitude of my teenager by Friday I would be most appreciative. I will give extra in the offering on Sunday and I will look for one extra person to tell about You in the line at the grocery store. Yours truly…Tired Mom”

“Jesus, look. Here’s the deal. Tennessee football is really struggling this year. If you could help us out, we would sure be obliged. Signed, Volunteer For Life.”

“Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for all Thy many blessings. While You’re up there blessing folks, would you mind causing my sister-in-law, Irma, to come down with the stomach bug so we can just have a peaceful Christmas for once? I know you love her, but Lord…well…we don’t. So, please find it in Yourself to grant me this one wish. If You do, I will never cuss again. Signed, Desperate”

How often do we bring our requests to Jesus as though He is up there with a notepad – “You want what? Hang on and let me grab a pen…. Ok! Got it!” Or, how often do we come timid and afraid?

God wants to give us good gifts. He is our Father. To this day, my earthly father still loves to give me gifts – to see my happy. He gets tears in his eyes when He sees me light up about something that brings me true joy and fulfillment. How much more does our Heavenly Father delight in giving us good gifts!

We don’t have to come to Him like He is the granter of three wishes and only three. There is no having to choose wisely your wishes. There is no tip-toeing. There is no bargaining or bribing. There is no tit-for-tat with Jesus. There’s no fear. Make your requests known to God. He sees and hears. And He knows what we need before we do. We do not have to panic, nor do we have to tread softly. We come like a child to a father – boldly and with confidence that He wants to give us beauty in it’s time. We come trusting that He knows best (the struggle is real). We come to God, our Father – giver of wonderful things. His gifts are so much better than Santa’s (but I don’t know how anybody’s prayer could beat Ricky Bobby’s…)

Published by Heather Land

CEO of I Ain’t Doin It. Tennessee girl. Wife. Mama. Cat lady. Enneagram 2. Loves to: light candles, drink coffee, drink wine, write, talk crap, watch The Great British Bake Off and dumb shows on TLC, shop, decorate, travel, eat fancy food, overthink, be real and hang out with authentic people.


  1. Greatest belly laugh and tear of my month! Thanks for putting my Christ in CHRISTMAS! Keeping it real… much appreciated!


  2. What insight!!!! You have written thoughts that I have had, Santa before Jesus, prayer attitudes, the genie. Thank you for posting this. It’s a good reminder of Who Jesus truly is.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Totally understand where you’re coming from. We walked out of Christmas Eve service in a large church here last year – they featured a country star (won’t mention the name) who sang a song about Santa bowing at the manger. Mmm..mmm – I ain’t doin’ it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I ask the Lord to give me strength and help hold my tongue so I don’t lose my job….so I really get this. I love your rants. You say so much of what I am thinking. Blessings to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love your uplifting, clean humor! You’re a breath of fresh air to this old southern grandma! Oh and, please forgive “Sharon” for her Vols and dawgs confusion (giggling) She’s been into the eggnog again! Teasing you, “Sharon” … but GO VOLS! ❤️😄 Merry Christmas to both of you ladies, and those you love!


  5. This is the first time I’ve read one of your blogs, and if this is, in your words, the lamest one you’ve done I can’t wait to read others! I loved it! It made me laugh, tear up, and think. I also love watching your rants! My son and I try to outdo each other with the “I’d rather…” phrases! Thank you for sharing your gift with us!


  6. You are awesom!!!!! Love your hillarious videos, and reading your blogs, your faith is just the absolute “icing on the cake”. Keep on doing what you’re doing!! Have a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas!!


  7. In today’s world, we all need reasons to smile and laugh daily. Sometimes those times are hard to come by! Your post help fill those times. Keep it up young lady! You touch more than you know with your post. Thanks


  8. I love this! Thank you for addressing the “All Seeing Santa” and the helpless baby Jesus. That picture is so very wrong and you hit the nail on the head with the truth.


  9. Love it! And so true. Thank you Heather! Have a blessed Christmas! Keep up the good work. You always bring a smile to my face! ❤


  10. Is Ricky Bobby real?! LOL…
    I just always thought Santa was worshiping baby Jesus.., I had know Idea that Santa had the same lame prayer requests that I had!
    … thanks for alwYs making me smile!


  11. Thank you so much for this!! I’m with you bout the Christmas decorationsn
    Most of all thank you for the reminder of loving nature of our Father. 😊

    Funniest ouch moment ever.
    Love you, Heather.


  12. Um so not lame. Loved everything you said. Read this out loud to my family on a road trip. We all loved what you said about Santa stealing Jesus’s thunder! So true and so sad how commercialised Christmas has become. Thanks for putting things in perspective and reminding us all, the real reason for this season.


  13. I get what you’re saying, but… We are able to go to Jesus when we are feeling childish, and complainy (if that’s a word!) Usually by the time I get done with my childish prayer, He has cured my sad-heart. Pray without ceasing, even if we complain a little. God wants to hear from us, even if we may think it’s insignificant! Blessings Heather! You bring laughter to my life!


  14. Thank you for pointing out the real Reason for the season! I just recently discovered you and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that you loved Jesus! Makes me like you even more!


  15. I love your insight. You say what others only think. You have a gift of making us laugh – thank you.
    Have a blessed Christmas.


  16. I was just scrolling through blog post and stumbled across your and am so glad I did. This was a really good subject matter you talked about. Your absolutely right, why must people least christmas lights year round, if one takes the time to put them up and one should take the time to take them down. And that Santa in the nativity thing?!? What’s with that, that’s no place for him to be lol.


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