The good ole’ New Year’s Resolution – or as I like to call it, The List of Good Intentions. You know, those things we say we’re gonna do but usually don’t. Oh stop! You know you do it – “commitment” with no follow-through. Yes, there are those chosen few who actually say they will and they do. To you sir, ma’am, my hat’s off. Your word was your bond. You’re the unsung hero. The champion. The victor. You made it.
EYE OF THE TIGER – they’re playing’ your song, Rocky.
But for the rest of us… Why do we even bother? Hey, don’t beat yourself up. For years, I secretly promised myself to lose 20 pounds. Somewhere around pound 10 (or sometimes day 10) and a six count of Krispy Kreme I would give up and give in. My will for sugar usually wins out over that size-down in jeans. Then….oh, brother. Here is comes. Self-deprication for the remaining balance of the calendar year. As if January 1st is the magic number.
Here’s the bottom line – If we wanted to do it, we would – no matter the month or the year.
Because of my history of failure regarding this subject and specific day of the year, New Year’s resolutions aren’t something I normally commit to and most certainly don’t hinge the success of my future on. When I get ready to lose the weight or do the thing, I always do. However, ironically enough, I find myself entering this new year with much resolve. Courses of action have been taken.
This past year has been one of great change. Growth. This seems to be a pattern in all of life. Make it stop. Or wait! Don’t, actually. If things weren’t constantly changing I would be forever bored with life. Wouldn’t you?
Many of the past year’s changes have been positive and exciting, the evolution of situations that have come to fruition. Things I never saw coming – like this one time I said this one thing ( I Ain’t Doin It) and now I have a new life. Kinda like that.
Other changes have been disheartening, disappointing. Some changes, my own choosing. Other changes, not so much. Relationships ended, hearts divided, sides taken, judgment, misunderstanding, loss… Resolve in it’s own right. Much of the unwelcomed resolve has shaken me to my core and caused me to reevaluate many things that I thought I knew. Resolve that has caused me to have to make my own hard decisions. It’s been a painful growth. This year has also posed many questions that only I could answer.
Who am I?
What do I believe?
Where can I give and bend?
Where can I compromise?
Where can I not?
Will I fold….quit?
What have I done?
What have I not?
What can I change?
What can I not?
Some of the answers to these questions are still being decided. Some are crystal clear. Either way, there has been growth.
Growth – Definition: Full development; maturity. Evolution.
In mistakes – growth. In hurt and loss – growth. In happiness and excitement – growth.
Wouldn’t it be great every now and then if life could just for five minutes be perfect – for everything to “be the way it used to be”?
But…evolution, growth, resolve.
I am learning that the circumstances around me don’t have to be perfect and wonderful for growth to occur. Growth is no respecter of persons. If I continue for the next five years to buy my 14 year year old a size 14 in clothes, does that stunt his growth? Does he stay the same size 14 because his mom refuses to alter accordingly? Hardly. After a good year his jeans that once fit will be skin–tight highwaters in fulleffect. (Also, he would hate me). Growth is going to happen whether we like it or not.
In all things, in hard situations, I am continuing to grow – growing as a mother, a friend, a comedian (when did I even become this?!?), a musician, a writer, a lover of Jesus. I am forever trying to learn to love better, apologize more, judge less, even though so often I miss the mark.
This year I resolve to embrace the horrible, wonderful process called growth, because it’s coming whether I like it or not. I resolve to not be so easily swayed by disappointment from others or by my own failures, to stand for what is right and know when to bow out gracefully, to submit but never compromise, to speak up more often and know when to say less, to give grace and accept it, to love better, to stay the course and to listen to the beautiful voice of the Lord who wants me close to Him – that voice that is and should always be my ultimate resolve.
The world will always try to dictate who we should be, but I am resolved that only God will decide that for my life. My prayer is that He continues to lead and guide and speak (to that thing in me that wants the sugar and that I will listen).
This is my New Year’s Resolution.
If you are trying to quit Krispy Kreme or your job or quit smoking menthols, or you are vowing to go skydiving or take that trip – Godspeed. You can do it. If you don’t quite hit your mark, well… I promise to be here to help dust you off and keep you moving. I promise to help those around me embrace their growth. We’re in this together.