BLACK FRIDAY PEACE

How do you even “blog”? No clue. Do you tell your life story in 500 words or less? It can’t be done. WHY am I even blogging? I don’t know that either. I’m certainly no expert on anything except needing Jesus and of late, making messes. But I’ve got some life experience and I guess I just need to chat it out. I can fill you in on the backstory later. I’ll just preface by saying that I have lived a wonderful life and as of right this minute, it ain’t over yet. As long as there’s a new season of Fixer Upper on the horizon, I still have a purpose in life.

At 41 years old, I already feel totally fulfilled. I’ve done almost everything I ever wanted to do in life with the exception of a few things on my short list (meet Chip and JoJo).
From having my dream job, making music and sipping tea in London, to building my own home and being a mommy. If I die today don’t be sad. Just tell beautiful stories about how much I loved Jesus, my kids and a closet full of boho dresses and headbands.

Having said that, life has not been without its challenges. I’ve got stories involving hurt and loss and more recent bad choices than I care to mention. I’ve had a few doozies here lately that I wish I could take back. I’m working extra hard to forget about those and to forgive myself. And then there’s that one thing that people hate to talk about. Ugh…it’s so taboo. Should I say it?
DIVORCE. 
That’s one I never set out to experience, especially being a worship leader my whole life. You just don’t do that in my circle. It was a hard pill to swallow. Almost 15 years of working that marriage muscle, to finally relent and give up the ghost.

My children were 10 and 6. I remember getting in the shower, turning on the water and holding a towel over my face so they wouldn’t hear me scream. So many tears shed… I knew the road ahead was gonna be a long one. At least my Free People shoe game was on-point. Those things and Jesus could walk me through the toughest of storms.

I knew that divorce was never God’s design and it certainly was not taken lightly. I won’t get into all the details. Just know that I had spent countless hours with the Lord crying and talking about this subject and I knew He was there with me. And I needed Him to be because I had nothing – no steady job, no money and nowhere to go. If I told you every little provision the Lord made for me along the way, we would be here all day. Trust me when I say, He provided.

And best of all He showed me His great love by sending me the most amazing, life-giving people to walk with me during this uphill climb. They put on their hiking boots and were always behind me, beside me, and two steps ahead of me on Divorce Mountain, grabbing my hand and keeping me moving the whole way up.

In case you didn’t know, that particular spot on my life’s map is located in the heart of Colorado Springs, CO, where I began that journey almost four years ago. I believe, without a doubt, that the Lord orders our steps and strategically places us in certain places at certain times with just the right people. And somehow, in His great mercy, He saw fit to plant us in Colorado for that awkward leg of life’s trip. I wrote music and made an album there and developed sweet relationships that landed us in that great state. I will always love that place and the people who keep it alive. (No, I did not smoke weed while I was there. I know you’re wondering.) I miss that place dearly. I was able to fulfil one my deepest heart’s desires while in Colorado – to wear boots and layer my clothing nine months out of the year. It was tough to leave. Don’t get me started. I could cry a river…

It was a hard, sad season, but I had an immeasurable amount of peace during that time. Philippians 4:7 was alive and in action – “And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” It just cannot be summed up with words – except to say, you know that feeling you get when you’ve been eating clean for like, 60 days (two weeks) and you finally give yourself permission to order that Pumpkin Spice Latte (in a red cup because it’s fall) and a giant chocolate chip muffin? You know that feeling you have during the consumption of those one million glorious calories? How all those flavors and smells just wrap you up in a warm (plaid Burberry) blanket?  Well that’s sort of what Jesus did for me – wrapped me up and held onto me through that cold walk.

Its been quite the trek. Have you read Pilgrim’s Progress? Read it. If you’ve lived one minute of life, you’ll get it. It’s all about the journey. Sometimes we have unexpected detours and bumps in the road. I’ve hit new ones since divorce and have recently gone through a different kind of uphill climb. I’ll tell you about that later.

Today I’m writing to say this.
Life is hard, but Jesus never leaves.
We can walk through hard seasons and still have peace.
And if you don’t currently have any, you can still get it – peace. The sale isn’t over. Just like on Black Friday.  (Only 27 Fridays left till Christmas, FYI). You will RACE into your favorite store and dig through continual racks and stacks of clothes like a rabid dog to find that one pair of yoga pants that you just couldn’t live without. You and your sleep-deprived-self will risk life and limb to get through those doors, and then you get in there and you take it- whatever it is!!  You’ve got your eye on that set of wooden spoons and that flatscreen, and dadgummit, you’re gonna get ’em if you have to lose a finger and your dignity in the process.

Well, thankfully, when we are in the market for peace, Jesus isn’t hiding at the bottom of the stack.  And there’s plenty to go around. All we have to do is walk in, ask, and receive. We repent and draw near. That is key. Sometimes it’s so hard to relinquish our own way in order to get it. So hard…

Lately, I’m a pro at not wanting to hand it over. Trust me when I say, it’s a much bumpier road. The world doesn’t offer peace-only Jesus does. My experience tells me that, excuse the lame cliche’, “letting go and letting God” really is the only way to live.  Going in and just accepting Jesus and his peace – it’s the only way to have true joy. We don’t even have to pay for it! I’m not really up for Black Friday peace shopping anyway, are you?
Let’s just go in and take it right off the shelf.
Here, I’ll hold the door for you…

146 thoughts on “BLACK FRIDAY PEACE”

  1. Ever thought about writing a book?? I sure would love to read it! Your the type of writer who draws you into the story! Because everyone can relate and everyone needs Jesus! I can see a Best Seller in your future!!! PLEASE! Can you imagine how many folks you could lead to the Lord!!!

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  2. Thank you for writing about divorce. Church was our respite as a couple before the divorce. I have found it very difficult to walk into a sanctuary and sit alone since the divorce. I never intended to divorce, never really wanted it… But couldn’t get past our problems. The sermons about marriage make me feel like a failure and almost every one has a message about family or marriage. I feel out of place as a divorced single mom. There is no life group, no prayer meeting, no singles group for 40 year old divorced people. And I’m not hanging with the 20 year olds, I ain’t doing it! Lol, thanks for the laughs girl!! We need it.

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  3. Well!!! I so enjoyed reading this!!! Girl, I know exactly how all his feels! At 63, I have been through some doozies….,,,and Jesus has always been right there. Waiting..and when I was ready..he held me, comforted and directed me! Like you said, it’s all about “letting go and let God”!!! God bless you! Keep up the good work girl! We all live you and enjoy you posts and blog!! 💕

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  4. Heather-I too have went through divorce after 16 yrs of marriage and have been a devout christian since I was 14! You put it into words exactly what it was like for me as well! I never set out to have “divorce” as one of my life experiences! It was tough and I made a heck of alot of bad choices! The peace that Jesus gives does surpass all understanding! I had my focus completely off of Jesus and yet He still took care of my foolish self! I had so many rumors and people talking about me behind my back and I can handle people talking I don’t mind because if they are talking about me then someone else is resting! But the small town I grew up in and lived until last year felt like I was in a place I didn’t even know! It was my home but I didn’t feel at home anymore! But God in His infinite wisdom put me in a place I never dreamed I could be! I’m happy(I have a wonderful Godly husband now) healthy (which I wasn’t then..that will make this longer than it needs to be) and my walk with Christ is the closest it’s ever been before and I now know that no matter what happens in the rest of my life that I will always have Jesus and that is Enough!

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  5. So good to read this as a reminder for myself..how big Our God is! I walked this road as well by errors of my doin and I was divorced 7 years two daughters..then by His grace and mercy we remarried. I’m not gonna lie it’s been a very hard road but it’s been 30 years now and God continues to amaze me. Thank you for being so transparent and I love all your videos! God will continue to bless you. ❤️

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  6. Amen! I have to say that I really needed this today. I myself am having some struggles and sometimes I feel lost. Reading this has given me the right perspective. Giving it to GOD is what I have to do.

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  7. Heather thank you for sharing your journey in a way only you can! You are a testimony of God’s grace and mercy! You should listen to “Every Mile Matters” and “Sound of Surviving” by Nichole Nordeman. Just look it up on YouTube…and listen to the words. I think it will really encourage you.

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  8. This is such good stuff. Thank you for all the laughs and for this blessing of “real talk”. You’re a treasure and my favorite part of FB right now

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  9. Well, I guess God sure is talking to me this morning! Watched a video about anxiety and realized, “that sounds like me” (something I never considered before)! Then, read your blog and realized, “that’s me too”!
    I’m currently going thru a divorce and have a 5 and 3 year old. Easy to feel anxious over every decision and the furthest thing from peace. I pray for peace on the daily and just have to cling to the hope I have in Christ to get me thru. Somedays are good and some are bad, BUT it’s always nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing and for speaking Gods peace to me, He will always find a way to deliver His message so we can hear it! Blessings to you!❤️

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  10. Glory to God, he listens even when we don’t! All things are possible through the Lord, keep him close and you have all you will ever need! Thank you for bringing smiles and laughter into my days😊

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  11. Wow! I so needed to hear this right now. Thank you for sending out some “hope” and “faith” to someone who is having a tough time feeling it at the moment. My husband has recently (in the last 5 or so years) decided he no longer believes in God, bless his heart, and that, my friends, is sooooo, SO hard to live with, day in and day out, especially when you have children that you’d lay down your life for. I pray for them everyday, that Jesus will stay in their hearts and souls and that the new influence will not change them. I want to see them in heaven some day, long away, down the road.
    Thanks for the laughter and the hope. You’re a Godsend!

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  12. I adore you. People tag me in your videos daily swearing we are long lost sisters. Thank you for finding humor in the hard and grace in the mundane. Ain’t life a hoot???

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  13. Heather,

    I love you I love that the Lord put you and your kids in my life all those years ago. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with others. Your music brings my heart into worship. Your witty humor brings my life great joy. Your words bring my mind to focus; to focus more on my own path; to focus on my own walk with Him. And, the memories of your time in the Texas Panhandle bring a smile to my face.

    I remember the first time that I met you, I was drawn in by your voice, that sweet southern accent. I was further drawn in (especially into Worshiping our Lord on a deeper level) by your voice once I heard you sing. And, your blog is now just another aspect of your voice that draws me in. Thank you for sharing this aspect of your voice that shows your heart for Jesus (I appreciate that you don’t sugar coat the messy stuff).

    As I am going through such a new season in life (well, new to me, hello empty nest among other things), this particular blog has helped me to remember the other seasons in my life where He carried me through. Because of Him, I survived those things. Because of people He placed in my life in various seasons, I had the support that I needed for my good times, my bad times and especially my ugly times. While we may be 1000 miles apart, He has once again made you one of those people, bringing tears of laughter (when I want to cry tears of sorrow) through your silly videos and ministering to my heart through your blog.

    I always smile when the Lord brings you to mind and puts a specific prayer in my heart for you. I truly adore you and your precious children. Continually praying His best blessings for y’all. Sorry for the lengthy post. I just felt the need to pour it out.

    Now, get to work on that Christmas CD!

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  14. Thanks for this! I needed to read it! You are so right, it is hard to “Let go and let God” I find myself, at 42, finally so happy in the career I worked so hard to get to. Teaching is the hardest job I’ve ever done but I absolutely love it! However, I also find myself single and on a dating roller coaster that has more screaming descents to the bottom than happily anticipated rises to the top! In a recent conversation with some of my teacher friends I said “I keep putting myself out there and dating the wrong men but maybe I should be waiting on the one God wants me to be with, maybe I should not be trying so hard and let Him take the reins”
    Anyway, thank you for reminding me about how he’s always there. I just needed to hear it again.

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  15. Thank you for sharing your gifts. Thank You Father God for sharing Your gifts with us also. I’ve been down that same road and even with Jesus holding me up its taking me a lot longer to get out there on my hike. I’m sorry you had to suffer that lose. To date the most devastating thing I’ve had to go through in my 48 years. You are an amazing person and you are helping so many with your blog and your “I ain’t doin it”. It bring a laugh in my life and I know many others. Thou are such a remarkable person and I would like to thank you for helping me. Big hugs and kisses. You are just what my Father ordered for me today at this very moment. I needed a friend to uplift me and you were the one. I thank Father God for you today. Praise Him. Shelley Brown

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  16. Heather,
    I have just recently been introduced to your “i ain’t doing it” vidoes & I absolutely love them. I love this blog as well, I agree 100%. God sometimes has a bigger plan and its usually not the plan we want or think we need, been there and still doing that (lol) but I always know even though that road will be anything but smooth God is there every step of the way.
    Thank you for being you. 👍😉

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  17. Amen! Jesus keeps reminding me over and over… HE is always with me. Praising HIM for his Love, Mercy and Faithfulness! ❤️

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  18. Dear Heather,

    I was destined to read this particular blog today. Two years, July 1st my divorce was finalized. Something I did not seek. I just recently discovered your mini videos of I Ain’t Doing It, and now I’ve discovered your blog! I’m climbing that mountain too, third year and within days I will begin my journey of Let Go and Let God. Those three years I’ve been working to the bone to keep a way of living alive that came from my dead marriage. The Dear Lord has finally helped me see, through some dear friends and Scripture, that this job it is not my calling, not meant for me. So I’m going to walk away so I can be unencumbered to discern His true calling and purpose in life. I know now that the Lord didn’t help me up that divorce mountain to be successful at something that is not His will. I’m truly blessed. You are a bright light on my journey, thank you for that.

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  19. Twenty-three long hard years and Jesus himself visited my mailbox in the Hoosier heartland last Christmas and began an actual deliverance because in my circles this is just not done either. The way he has ordered details since has been mind-blowing, I’m quite sure you get this! Three weeks after the story I’m linking below in a series of circumstances that had already been cushioned with grace, I began my journey as a single mom of three. There have been moments of sheer terror but also more than enough grace and a fresh hope I’d thought possible. Your fresh perspective has brought SO much joy to my life this past week. Keep it up sister!

    https://marcyholder.com/2017/02/09/that-time-joy-grabbed-hold-of-my-life-and-wouldnt-let-go/

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  20. Thank you for this! I’m divorced after 18 years and have somehow ended up in a small town in CO at age 53. I too have screamed into pillows and cried myself to sleep more times than I can count in the last 2 years. The Lord has brought me through a divorce, a move across country, a career change, and the loss of all that was friendly and familiar to me. Oh, and smack dab in the middle of menopause to boot! I have survived, and I give Him all the glory. I am learning to not question why everything has happened, and just trust God through this journey. Thank you for the encouragement and for making me laugh!

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  21. Heather,
    You could not have shown up at a better time. I love your FB posts and how so many relate to you. I have two daughters that are currently walking through the ugliness of divorce…. both are Christians and never expected to be going through all this ugliness. Thank God for His promises, and thank God for sending you at just the perfect time!!🙏🏼💕

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  22. I am walking this journey with you and it’s so hard to relinquish control when your single mama mantra is “just keep up, don’t get behind”. In truth, it’s actually the simpler thing to do because sister, I can’t keep up and I am behind without the grace of Jesus. Let’s keep trying! Thank you for being a bright light! Blessings!

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  23. I just found you last night and I laughed until I cried I haven’t done that in years I have also had a rough road to walk . I’m so glad I found you I will be following you and the fact that you love our Lord makes it even better.

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  24. Dear sister, thank you so much for sharing a piece of your journey. I too have very similar experiences. I never expected it to come my way. But it did. And I was shocked to be getting divorced at 30 years of marriage. It left my head reeling. I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown. But then Jesus stepped in. Peace. Sweet peace enveloped me. He carried me down that road along with gracious Godly friends. My life experience now is so different. And Jesus is there all the way in every way. Thank you again for sharing! I pray the Lord blesses your life and your family.

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  25. Shout-out to a fellow woman in ministry that still ended up with the big D on their resume. So many similarities in our stories. What a comfort it is to know I’m not the only one! I mean, I knew that I wasn’t, but most of us usually hide behind a sense of shame over the thing. I can already hear your “I would rather…..than to keep silent about my story.” Mm-mm, I ain’t doin’ it.
    Thanks for this post!

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  26. Heather
    I am so AMAZED that I realized u were behind My favorite videos. Now I have found your blog which is such a blessing. Thank you

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  27. Wow Heather, your story, or the parts I got to read in this sounds so very much like my own. All we can do is keep our faith, accept God’s peace he gives so freely, and keep moving forward. #GodIsWithinMeIWillNotFail

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  28. I can’t help but hear that “I ain’t doing it” voice as I read this, but I promise you one thing…the truth about Jesus has it’s own voice and you can’t talk over that. Thank you for making my day a bit brighter and fuller. God Bless you REAL GOOD!

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  29. Wow, love your blog….I am facing a divorce after 35 years of marriage, and I too did not take this lightly ….after much prayer, and almost allowing my marriage to break me, I pleaded to God to show me what to do. I know I heard God say …. Walk away, Walk away, Walk away…and even knowing God understands and has a better plan for me it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have some really strong days, and out of the blue a low will come right through me and knock me off my feet for a bit… but God ALWAYS lifts me right back up and helps me put on foot in front of the other and give that peace that only he can give…

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  30. Thank you. Your words are mine but in order and coherent. We need more people who understand Jesus is our life and He will take us home.

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  31. Beautiful words and a wonderful reminder of our Father’s goodness. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.
    Also, thanks for the laughter you have provided our family; we love your videos. Blessings to you and your family!

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  32. The crushed grapes make the sweetest wine. You are doing what we all must do. Gathering up your failures and your successes and bringing them all to the feet of Jesus. Beautiful words you have written. To God be the glory.

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  33. One more thing. Many years ago, an older prophetic man spoke these words to me…”There are anointed words in you sister.” I sense the very same thing in you. God bless His words that make their way through you. 🙂

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  34. I’ve had some very rough bumps in my life also. Sometimes you just wonder, wow! Where do I go from here? Thank God, the good lord looks after us.
    I loved reading this, so comforting. And I love all the laughter you bring to me and my family!!
    Thank you.

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