How do you even “blog”? No clue. Do you tell your life story in 500 words or less? It can’t be done. WHY am I even blogging? I don’t know that either. I’m certainly no expert on anything except needing Jesus and of late, making messes. But I’ve got some life experience and I guess I just need to chat it out. I can fill you in on the backstory later. I’ll just preface by saying that I have lived a wonderful life and as of right this minute, it ain’t over yet. As long as there’s a new season of Fixer Upper on the horizon, I still have a purpose in life.
At 41 years old, I already feel totally fulfilled. I’ve done almost everything I ever wanted to do in life with the exception of a few things on my short list (meet Chip and JoJo).
From having my dream job, making music and sipping tea in London, to building my own home and being a mommy. If I die today don’t be sad. Just tell beautiful stories about how much I loved Jesus, my kids and a closet full of boho dresses and headbands.
Having said that, life has not been without its challenges. I’ve got stories involving hurt and loss and more recent bad choices than I care to mention. I’ve had a few doozies here lately that I wish I could take back. I’m working extra hard to forget about those and to forgive myself. And then there’s that one thing that people hate to talk about. Ugh…it’s so taboo. Should I say it?
DIVORCE.
That’s one I never set out to experience, especially being a worship leader my whole life. You just don’t do that in my circle. It was a hard pill to swallow. Almost 15 years of working that marriage muscle, to finally relent and give up the ghost.
My children were 10 and 6. I remember getting in the shower, turning on the water and holding a towel over my face so they wouldn’t hear me scream. So many tears shed… I knew the road ahead was gonna be a long one. At least my Free People shoe game was on-point. Those things and Jesus could walk me through the toughest of storms.
I knew that divorce was never God’s design and it certainly was not taken lightly. I won’t get into all the details. Just know that I had spent countless hours with the Lord crying and talking about this subject and I knew He was there with me. And I needed Him to be because I had nothing – no steady job, no money and nowhere to go. If I told you every little provision the Lord made for me along the way, we would be here all day. Trust me when I say, He provided.
And best of all He showed me His great love by sending me the most amazing, life-giving people to walk with me during this uphill climb. They put on their hiking boots and were always behind me, beside me, and two steps ahead of me on Divorce Mountain, grabbing my hand and keeping me moving the whole way up.
In case you didn’t know, that particular spot on my life’s map is located in the heart of Colorado Springs, CO, where I began that journey almost four years ago. I believe, without a doubt, that the Lord orders our steps and strategically places us in certain places at certain times with just the right people. And somehow, in His great mercy, He saw fit to plant us in Colorado for that awkward leg of life’s trip. I wrote music and made an album there and developed sweet relationships that landed us in that great state. I will always love that place and the people who keep it alive. (No, I did not smoke weed while I was there. I know you’re wondering.) I miss that place dearly. I was able to fulfil one my deepest heart’s desires while in Colorado – to wear boots and layer my clothing nine months out of the year. It was tough to leave. Don’t get me started. I could cry a river…
It was a hard, sad season, but I had an immeasurable amount of peace during that time. Philippians 4:7 was alive and in action – “And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” It just cannot be summed up with words – except to say, you know that feeling you get when you’ve been eating clean for like, 60 days (two weeks) and you finally give yourself permission to order that Pumpkin Spice Latte (in a red cup because it’s fall) and a giant chocolate chip muffin? You know that feeling you have during the consumption of those one million glorious calories? How all those flavors and smells just wrap you up in a warm (plaid Burberry) blanket? Well that’s sort of what Jesus did for me – wrapped me up and held onto me through that cold walk.
Its been quite the trek. Have you read Pilgrim’s Progress? Read it. If you’ve lived one minute of life, you’ll get it. It’s all about the journey. Sometimes we have unexpected detours and bumps in the road. I’ve hit new ones since divorce and have recently gone through a different kind of uphill climb. I’ll tell you about that later.
Today I’m writing to say this.
Life is hard, but Jesus never leaves.
We can walk through hard seasons and still have peace.
And if you don’t currently have any, you can still get it – peace. The sale isn’t over. Just like on Black Friday. (Only 27 Fridays left till Christmas, FYI). You will RACE into your favorite store and dig through continual racks and stacks of clothes like a rabid dog to find that one pair of yoga pants that you just couldn’t live without. You and your sleep-deprived-self will risk life and limb to get through those doors, and then you get in there and you take it- whatever it is!! You’ve got your eye on that set of wooden spoons and that flatscreen, and dadgummit, you’re gonna get ’em if you have to lose a finger and your dignity in the process.
Well, thankfully, when we are in the market for peace, Jesus isn’t hiding at the bottom of the stack. And there’s plenty to go around. All we have to do is walk in, ask, and receive. We repent and draw near. That is key. Sometimes it’s so hard to relinquish our own way in order to get it. So hard…
Lately, I’m a pro at not wanting to hand it over. Trust me when I say, it’s a much bumpier road. The world doesn’t offer peace-only Jesus does. My experience tells me that, excuse the lame cliche’, “letting go and letting God” really is the only way to live. Going in and just accepting Jesus and his peace – it’s the only way to have true joy. We don’t even have to pay for it! I’m not really up for Black Friday peace shopping anyway, are you?
Let’s just go in and take it right off the shelf.
Here, I’ll hold the door for you…
HEATHER LAND 
I am thankful to now always have the Heather spark in my life!!!! Jason and I love you and are so happy and excited for where you are at. So grateful for how our Fathet had been takeing care of you and the kids. HUGS
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Thank you, sweet friend! I hope you heard your name mentioned in this story 🙂 Love you guys so much!
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You are lovely. I needed to see this. Wondered why I was so attracted to your videos. Thank you
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I love everything about how you deal with day to days we are soul sisters I find humor in things just like you.Like a 20 you marriage two kids 26 and 9 , I finally hound myself again through god and many tears. .You are an inspiration and make me laugh Dailey hod bless you sweet lady helping one single crazy mom at a time.Bless your heart”l mean that in the most heart felt way”Be blessed miss Heather! !
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I just met you. Well, just found you on Facebook via your hilarious videos.
They made me giggle on some hard days.
Somehow I knew I’d like you, should we ever meet in person. Now that I’ve read your latest blog entry I know we could be besties. I appreciate your rawness. Real genuine heart. You put it out there without apologies. In a world full of fake Kardasian wanna be’s you are refreshingly unpretentious. Thank you for being you.
Flawed. Real. Honest. With hope and a heart for Jesus. I’m a Jesus follower too. I love Him. He’s everything to me. I’m a Bible believing sinner. Loved by sweet Jesus, flaws and all.
So thank you. If we don’t meet on this earth we will in the perfect earth we have been promised to come. Oh and… I live in Colorado!! I never want to leave this beautiful state.
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Your like sprinkles on a cupcake… you just make the day a more exciting. And… your remind me us and those yet to know, God is Good in all things.
God Bless You!
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Your like sprinkles on a cupcake… you just make the day more exciting. And… you remind me us and those yet to know, God is Good in all things.
God Bless You!
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Your like sprinkles on a cupcake… you just make the day more exciting. And… you remind us and those yet to know, God is Good in all things.
God Bless You!
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Thank you for sharing this. I myself am one who has also went through the “Divorce” after a long struggle holding on with a tight grip, and having mad some terrible choices of late! With his grace and only him has pulled me up by my collar to set me straight! Thank heavens he did. Keep up the great messages and so relatable topics they are encouraging at least for me and put a smile back on my face that hasn’t been there for awhile! Thank you
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You’re so amazing! Love & peace sista!
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Oh how I miss you dear friend. What a gift that I can call you that. Loved reading your beautiful words! Sending hugs and blessing you from Colorado!
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My favorite words from this introspection: “Life I hard, but Jesus never leaves.” Amen, and amen.
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Beauty from ashes…😘
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Thank you Heather for your transparency and sharing your heart. I have walked a similar road and it is only the Grace of God and those specific friends who help you get through it all. Praying for you sweet friend. Really really enjoying the blogs!!
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Beautiful writing, I’ve always loved your openness and sweet spirit. I look forward to reading more. You are loved Heather.
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I love your obedience and candor. My heart may busy!!
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Love this! You have a way with words. So proud of you! Keep sharing real!
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So good! You clearly have a gift for writing whether that be music or blogs. Surely blessed me! I hope you’ll continue!
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Heather,
My dad died a little over two weeks ago, rather suddenly. During that time a friend/angel showed me your videos and I laugh non-stop every time. Those precious 1 minute clips eased my sadness over and over.
But this. This is what I needed, today the day after his funeral. Honestly, yesterday was the first time I took communion in more years than I want to admit. But I loved it. And this post is also reminding me to let go and let God and spark up my relationship with Jesus again. Thank you.
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I love this and your desire to share your journey. I, too have learned to “let go and let God” and enjoy the peace that comes with that. The stories of life are the same….the names are different. If we continue to share what we learn and laugh at ourselves and simply love and not judge…we will all be fine…thank you again for opening up and sharing …. keep smiling and laughing…
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I just wole up from a dream where I was holding on to my ex-husband and telling him how much I really loved him. I’m in the pit of the emotional pit of divorce. I whole heartedly agree that Jesus is a warm blanket but so are you. And I hope one day I can look you in the eye and tell you how comforting these 4 minutes were. Thank you SO much. xo
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I have just discovered your I aint gonna do it videos this week and followed you on Facebook. Then I read this…..and the joy that I’ve experienced these last two days was moved an incredible amount of respect and appreciation for you. Thank you for being transparent and sharing the love of Christ so openly. We do need peace and joy in this world, and in greater measure than ever. Thank you for adding both!
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Oh my Heather, I almost enjoy your blog as much as your video’s that make me have belly laughs, and well these days, that comes few and far between. Life can sure throw us some curve balls but thank the Lord for His ever lingering presence that preserves and saves us more times than we can count! As a cancer survivor and thriver, I can say with my hand up…
HE IS GOD and HE IS GOOD!
Keep spreading the good new my friend. In which ever way God leads you!
Your new found friend – Robyn
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Been there, done that, bought the Tshirt! Beautifully written. You are one of a kind, Ms Heather. Love your videos. God does watch over us in all ways.
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Thank you for this. I surely needed this reminder this morning as I lay here wishing I could just sleep all day. I felt for a few moments there that I was reading my own story. Bless you and keep writing. JQ
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Wonderfully said!! Love you and Jesus. Keep up the good work!
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This is what I needed to see today. My walk with Jesus has been a challenging one since last Christmas. I live with Bipolar Disorder and I’ve have a long season with a severe depressive episode. I’m trying my hardest to push through and come out of this alive, but it’s tough. Even tougher since I have had a dialogue with Jesus during this time. I guess I fear that question “Where have you been?” I found an amazing church last year that made me feel uplifted because the fellowship was powerful and the pastor’s message was meaningful and always timely. But now I feel lost. Haven’t gone to church since December and I truly miss it. Again, I fear hearing the question “Where have you been?” Well, my answer is this: I’ve been in a battle for my life. Trying to keep my head above water just enough to get my butt to work so I could have healthcare to pay for illness. I needed to survive and the only energy I had was put towards that. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make before I drove off on a tangent is that you’re right. The only peace to be had or found in this world is through and with Jesus. I’m searching for that peace. Searching for the path back to him. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you 💜
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Maybe you can sing a worship song for all of us on ur page and let us share in ur troubles and ur triumphant! This was a great read of ur bumps in the road. May God continue to richly bless u
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am in the midst of a divorce now (which I never thought would happen) but God is the only way I am making it through. I don’t have the friend support you did, but I have my family pushing and pulling me up that mountain! I will definitely get that book! In the meantime, listen to THE CASTING CROWNS “Just Be Held”. I listen to it daily, and sometimes before my feet even hit the floor! Thank you again so much!
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Heather, I found you through your humorous videos. Which I have watched and shared and laughed sometimes until I had tears in my eyes. Today I found this blog about divorce and again I had tears in my eyes. You definitely got to the root of it all. My divorce was final in July, and the months previous have been very difficult. And I have family that were supportive and friends as well but I’m sure I was quite exhausting. The ups and downs some days being grateful for divorce and other times feeling completely let down by the divorce. At any rate the blog I read today really helped me. I’ve been trying very hard to let go and let God and just not interfere in whatever plan he has for me. But gracious it is hard. But nothing in life is really easy. Thank you so much for your blog it made my day.
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We don’t know each other, but your heart is beautiful! Allowing God to carry you through your storm, your season, and still writing and inspiring others along the way is truly a heart for God. You leaned not on your own understanding, but pressed in to our maker. I know your amazing story will be a testimony to someone else in your shoes. God bless you and the beautiful talents he has given you.
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I enjoyed this. Happy Sunday.
Lisa
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Thank you, thank you, and by the way – THANK YOU!! I’ve struggled, I’ve cried and then hit the repeat button several times. I’ve sought the Lord more times than I thought possible. Thankfully He is always available. Keep up the GREAT work. I’ll keep you in my prayers. If it crosses your mind – keep me in yours.
Have a blessed day, all!! 💖💖💖
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Heather, you spoke strait to my heart this morning! I need His peace! Thanks for holding the door open for me! (Tears) And also for sharing a part of you…..beautifully! Trinity Pampa misses you!! 😘❤️
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Thank you for sharing…it’s comforting to hear you are not alone in life struggles such as divorce and raising kids and finding your way…no one ever gets married thinking “oh I plan on getting divorced one day”. The struggles of keeping your marbles together and just getting through the day are REAL!! Thank you!!
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I just finished my first year of being divorced after 17 years of marriage! Boy that hill is a hard one to climb, but like you, I’ve had a group of people that, despite me trying to take my boots off and sit on my butt, have pushed me right to the top! Thankful for God’s grace and provision in putting them there for me! Thanks for your words today…keep preachin sister! ❤️
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A beautiful message out of the mess. Like always, you’re spot on. Divorce was never in my vocabulary until it happened to me. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but my God carried me through. Thank you for the laughter and honesty you share. Hugs from Georgia!
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What a well written Blog! I’m 51, almost 52! My husband and I have raised 3 boys. We are still in the teen years with the last one. Believe me-the road no matter what you’re marital status or happiness level is a rollercoaster! Sometimes you’re climbing those hills that just inch along, other times you’re gripping the sides saying, “Shit!” And other times your arms are in the air and you’re shouting “Weeeeeee.”
God is my calmness. My ever faithful, forgiving, loving presence. I forget to reach for him sometimes. He knows all!
Your honesty and candor are refreshing!
One last thing. I think life is so much sweeter when we have humor involved. Laughing at ourselves and funny situations makes the ride so much more enjoyable! Thank you for adding to the funny things in my life with the “I Ain’t Doin It” series!
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Oh my goodness…you have no idea how much this post spoke to me during this particular season in my life. Philippians 4:6-7 are what I call my “life verses.” Thank you for your testimony.
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Heather, you are the sweetest person. I had back surgery 3 months ago and have been dealing with the pain which doesn’t seem to let go and when those times it’s got me sitting in the edge of the couch saying I can’t take one more minute I pop on one of your videos and I laugh and fir those 59 seconds my mind is pain free! So thank you for being a true Christian and not being one of those Bible thumpers who tries to act like this world is perfect cause it ain’t!!! ❤️
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It’s so easy to feel alone on this journey through the big D. It’s a constant battle. I’m not a very religious person but I believe in god. I pray for strength and signs and guidance and thank the good lord when I don’t yell at anyone in a Walmart parking lot for waiting 17 years for someone to load their groceries so they can park 5 feet closer to the door. It’s a constant battle between doing what I’ve viewed as “right” and saving my sanity. I needed this today. So much. Thank you for sharing it. Cause I sure “ain’t doing it”
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Thank you for sharing your journey. Going through similar things in my life. Perhaps I stumbled upon you to give me humor and light at the end of my tunnel; Jesus the one and only to help guide me through my journey.
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So happy to have made your acquaintance, Heather, my sister! You’ve made me laugh and cry! May God continue to bless you. And may you continue to share your nuggets with us! Looking forward to more…
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Oh my goodness….I live on the Georgia coast (St. Simons Island) and I’m apart of a ministry for single moms in our area (Beloved). Do you speak to woman’s groups? Your story is relatable to so many. We are a fun group of mama’s trying to navigate through life.
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Hi, Jobie. Thank you for your kind words. I actually do speak at conferences around the country. If you are interested, please contact my assistant, Tosha Mabry at contact@iaintdoinit.com for more information!
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Heather, I have just recently found you. I share you with my 3 grown daughters and parents and friends. You are an inspiration and your deep sense of humor and words of experience are always heard. We’ve all had moments as you describe, good and bad, extreme a d otherwise. Thank you for sharing and I am always looking forward to hearing more sista!
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A beautiful piece to read on a Sunday morning!
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Right there with you!!! I have gone through this very situation. God provided me the desires of my heart when I let him take over and actually TRUSTED HIM! He provided me with everything I needed and even more than I could have asked for in my life. I was scared to death because raising two daughters on a single budget… SCARY! But we are better than ever because God is in control. Thanks for posting.
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Heather, you are such a wonderful writer. You inspire me to find my inner pen and get to it! I have a goal to start blogging this year, and if I read enough of yours I met get er done! God Bless you beautiful soul.
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I just love this. It real life and I appreciate your thoughtful writing. None of us are immune from the troubles and failings of this life, but we always have our God right beside us, picking us up, placing people in our path to show us we are not alone.
God Bless you!
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Love 💗 this keep the words coming girl 💗🙏🏻
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Thank you for this! I cried the first three times I read it. Beautiful words and experiences from a beautiful soul.
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I really just want to be one of your friends. You get me :)!
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Wow, just wow. We have shared many of the same steps sister. What would we do without the warm cozy blanket of Jesus’ love to keep us whole during that “cold” season of our life. Keep writing and sharing!!
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You are awesome girl, keep that light shinin’!
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I lived in Colorado Springs for the last decade. Makes me sad to think you were there going through all that, and I didn’t even know. We don’t know each other…
But that’s the truth of it, isn’t it? People are crumbling all around us, wherever we are. Sometimes we don’t even see it. Happy there were wise and strong people in your life during that time.
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Heather thank you for theee encouraging words! As with many, I too over the last couple of years ha w had a tuff cliimb (God called my wonderful husband Home)! I work in my bewilderment and sometimes anger at God Wveryday, I know God loves me and wants the best for me. Jer 29:11
So as I read your blog I felt that peace! You are so right! God is most definitely guiding me through this journey!
Again thank you Heathet for these inspiring words!
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I have just started following you and reading your blog – and let me tell you… I love you! I love your heart, your wisdom, your honesty, and your love for Jesus most of all. Thanks for your words this morning. God bless!
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You make me laugh everyday (yes, I replay the videos when I need it – or to show others) and this morning you made me tear up. Trying to stay in control and at the same time leaving it to God is a hard thing. But thank you.
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